Does anyone understand how hard it is being a girl? Not even a girl, how about a woman, a female.
It’s so hard for me to figure out if I should like things that are socially acceptable for a girl to like, or if its okay to like the things that I do. But I still find myself playing tug of war with myself if I should indulge in the the things I feel make me, well, me.
“Boy” things I like: cars, CARS, football, fighting, pants, sweats, video games, bodybuilding (loosely), being aggressive, cursing, outspoken, ballsy, etc.
“Girl” things I like: dresses, make-up, teddy bears (I’ve been sleeping with the same stuffed bunny for 14, going on 15 years), shopping, romantic comedies, hello kitty, pink stuff, nail polish, etc.
I know some of those traits don’t specifically fit into Man or Woman traits. But women aren’t supposed to be ballsy and outspoken or curse a lot. Being headstrong.
But it seems that those traits that I like the best of myself will prevent me from making connections with other females. And I wonder if I need to conform to a more feminine version in order to make friends with other females. Because other females like me don’t really like having other female friends.
And as I go on, I find myself loving more of my “masculine” traits. I love cars. That’s something I can’t help. And the thought of working with them in the future makes me giddy. I just bought $1200 for UFC tickets in April. And imagining how much blood will be poured and all the screaming ill be doing is exciting. I’m loving football more and more as the post season goes on. Hell, I predicted the Ravens would go to the Superbowl.
It’s just frustrating living in a society that forces people to choose between feminine and masculine hobbies. And if you like something that isn’t the norm, you’re a pariah. But shit. I’ve been a pariah this long, why stop now?
Why stop loving the things I love, and still be “girly”? Why can’t I play a football game in a dress? Well, because the stains will set, and I’ll be forced to throw my dress away.
But what I’m getting at, we need to fix this. Fix living a society that lives by gender roles.
And I’m going to prove myself every single day that you don’t need to be a certain gender to excel in something.